it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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