How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize