The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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