we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Randomize
