She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's official drugs can't kill me
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
