dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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