Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
