It's like God shit irony all over that family
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
