just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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