that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
