names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
