I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
