it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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