Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you win again, gameday.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
