She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
