You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
