distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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