doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
