ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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