Got a toothbrush?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
