I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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