somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
