Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
