I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
