that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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