The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
