I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
