I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
