D3 body, D1 cock
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
