like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
