I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize