You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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