Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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