the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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