Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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