so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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