But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You may now shotgun with the bride
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you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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