I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
