how can u be prego again
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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