You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize