i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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