Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Randomize
