You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
