dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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