idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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