That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
