we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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