Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize