If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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