Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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