i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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