i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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