I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
