Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
