My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
