Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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