grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
