I'm going to jail i love you
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
