even my farts smell like vagina
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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