she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
